Friday, July 27, 2012

Turning "Food" Into FOOD

I have an obsession with getting deals on food. But it’s not a bad thing; in the most recent case, it got me 10% off an order from bodybuilding.com. I have never ordered from them before, but I found out that they carry Quest bars and the rest is history. Needless to say, when the box came on Tuesday it was the highlight of my week. I ripped it open as soon as I got home and examined the contents, even though I already knew what they were.


That’s two boxes of Quest bars (12 bars/box) on the left along with three new flavors to try. The box of Cinnamon Roll was non-negotiable because yes, they are just that good. And after I reviewed the Chocolate Brownie flavor, my mom wanted to try those, so we bought a box of them too. The three new flavors are Chocolate Peanut Butter, Peanut Butter Supreme and Strawberry Cheesecake. Ha! Did that last one surprise you? :)

On the right are a few products from Walden Farms. These are a total experiment. Walden Farms specializes in “calorie-free” foods (the FDA allows companies to claim “trace” aka 0 calories if it contains less than 5 per serving). What we have here are the caramel syrup, pancake syrup, marshmallow dip, and peanut spread. I was somewhat skeptical about the quality (and yes, healthiness) of these (especially the peanut spread) after reading many reviews, but really that just stoked my curiosity.

So what did I do that night? Eat a Quest bar? Absolutely! (Cinnamon Roll!) But I also set about making a “fluffernutter” wrap using a FlatOut flatbread and the Walden Farms peanut spread and marshmallow dip.

I have to say, it was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever eaten. The marshmallow dip was too sweet even for me, and the peanut spread...it’s hard to describe the peanut spread. Even the smell was revolting. I was not expecting it to be peanut butter, because it’s NOT (not even called “butter”). But still...neither product spread very well; they were both runny, with the result that my wrap leaked smelly goop on top of making me want to throw up. I seriously was not even hungry for the next 36 hours.

So that was a bummer, because they were pretty expensive. But last night I was having a craving for pudding, and with none readily available I got to dreaming. What happens when you mix PB2 with Walden Farms marshmallow dip?


I used Chocolate PB2 because I like the regular stuff more and I was afraid of wasting it if this experiment turned nasty. I didn’t measure out the dip, just kind of spooned it into the cup and then added two tablespoons of PB2. I will say that after being in the fridge for two days it had congealed into a mousse-like texture, and the sweetness was a little more tolerable when it was cold, but it’s still not something I would ever eat plain.

So anyway, I ended up with some fluffernutter-chocolate mousse sort of thing:


The dip by itself might be gross, but man this stuff was the shit! Seriously. It had a few super-sweet spots because I didn’t mix it terribly well, but even those were enjoyable. This needs a name that conveys all its sweet, mouth-watering goodness...how about Fluffernutella mousse? That’s kind of what it reminded me of, only more peanut buttery.

As for the peanut spread...well, the texture, like the dip, was firmer and even smelled sort of peanutty after being refrigerated. It’s deceptive, because it really does look like peanut butter.



It’s only when you feel and taste it that it grosses you out. I took two small tastes (I was still nervous); the first wasn’t so bad, but after the second I remembered why I didn’t like it in the first place. I almost want to say it’s really salty. Hmm. Maybe I should try making PB2 pudding out of this, too.

Anyway, I haven’t tried the caramel and pancake syrups yet. But I know I’ll be sad when the marshmallow dip is gone and I can’t make “mousse” anymore. Time to get some pudding!
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