Friday, September 21, 2012

Review: Detour Lean Muscle Cookie Dough Caramel Crisp

OK, ready for something scary?

Wow! Now that is a big protein bar. It’s more like a protein monster. That’s the Detour Lean Muscle Cookie Dough Caramel Crisp bar, and it’s certainly a bit intimidating. Although anyone who knows my bottomless pit of a stomach probably isn’t all that surprised that I picked up this enormous bar when confronted with so many choices at a little UniMart on the way to Virginia Beach. In fact it’s not all that different in size from the Metragenix bar I tried recently.

It has 32 grams of protein, 20 vitamins and minerals, healthy fats, and a ridiculous amount of Omega-3s. Which isn’t bad, but it also has 370 calories. So this is more of a meal (or two) or dessert. Luckily, it does come in a smaller size with only 190 calories and 16g of protein.

I really hope it doesn’t taste awful, since it’s so big...but it certainly looks promising with those chocolate chips sprinkled on top. It smells like milk chocolate, like most chocolate-coated bars; there may be a faint whiff of protein, or it could be that I know this thing has 32 freaking grams!!

I just love the way this looks on the inside--it actually made my mouth water, which is pretty impressive for a protein bar. The cookie dough layer looks perfect, with a layer of rice crispies and a somewhat thin layer of caramel. Since I really love caramel, I kind of wish there was more of it, but... didn’t really matter. I shouldn’t have worried about having to eat a humongous brick of crap. It tasted just like a candy bar! Normally when somebody says that in a review I’m like “Yeah, right,” but in this case it’s true. Some candy company needs to come up with a flavor like this, because it would definitely be my fact, I liked this bar better than I like candy bars.

It really does taste like cookie dough, no joke. It puts all the other cookie dough imitators to shame. The crisps add depth to the texture, which overall is gummy--but not in a bad way. It’s sort of like caramelly gummy. Only the caramel layer is so thin, the gumminess almost has to come from the base. The caramel layer is really subtle, but it is there as a sweet background hint.

There’s absolutely no funny aftertaste either, which is great because of all the protein inside. That’s how you know it’s one of those “candy bar” protein bars that maybe doesn’t have to best nutritional profile out there, but in reality it’s not all that bad. It boasts only 3g of net carbs and 3g of sugar, but that comes with the price of a lot of sugar alcohols. But I guess life is, after all, a case of “pick your poison.” If you need protein and you want candy, pick this bar up. I personally wouldn’t eat this size except for dessert (or possibly after a day of fasting, lol--TOTALLY kidding here, so don
t freak out if you know my history). But it was certainly a treat!

Taste: 10--nailed it! The name is a perfect description.
Texture: 10--doughy and gummy/gooey, surrounded by a chocolate shell, plus the crisps add cool variety.
Health: 8--TONS of protein, minimal sugar and active carbs...but also a lot of sugar alcohols. Read the label before you decide it’s right for you.
Eat Again? Yes, but probably in a smaller size, or as a dessert treat.

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