Saturday, November 24, 2012

Review: Metragenix 7:1 Bar White Crispy Crunch

I walked into one of my local GNC’s (there are three) the other day with a coupon for a free Eat Smart bar from iSatori, but for the second time was told that they weren’t in stock. (The last time they told me to come back next week, and so I waited patiently...maybe I will have to try a different local GNC!). But they did have a ton of other protein bars, and the guy at the counter helpfully informed me that it was buy three, get one I bought three and got one free,  of course!

Among them was the Metragenix 7:1 White Crispy Crunch bar. The last Metragenix bar I got from GNC really impressed me, which is why I chose this. That, and I had no idea what “White Crispy Crunch” tastes like (the description on that website claims birthday cake), but I’m assuming it’s got a white coating and you know I love those. ;)

Whoa. That looks like some mutant protein bar with warts! OK, they’re actually what appear to be broken up Cheerio bits, but still...I was expecting crunch inside the bar, not outside. On the plus side, the coating is definitely white! Unfortunately it, and the little Cheerio things, are leaving residue all over the table and my, warning number one: Don’t eat this in the car unless you want to look like you’ve got baby powder all over your crotch.

Another surprise! The inside just looks like a plain old protein-bar base. It’s white, in keeping with the name of the bar, but it doesn’t look crispy or crunchy. Still, maybe those crispies are hiding in there somewhere....

Nope, I can officially say they are not. The “crisp” and “crunch” of this part consist solely of the Cheerio bits glued to the coating. Weird, I definitely wouldn’t call this bar either crispy or crunchy, even with the Cheerios on it. It’s just a gummy protein bar with, well, with Cheerios on it. (Sorry, I’m getting repetitive here.) And those Cheerios happen to be very awkward and even painful when it comes to actually taking a bite, because they cut into the roof of your mouth. I have a couple sore spots right behind my front teeth from those little suckers. The thing is, I actually liked the gummy inside. I think they should just get rid of the Cheerio pieces, only then they’d have to name the bar “White.”

Despite the texture inconsistencies and the mess, I really enjoyed this bar. It was the taste that did it for me. I still don’t know what “White Crispy Crunch” tastes like, but it’s sort of a vanilla-like sweetness. I could totally see the birthday cake thing, which might explain why I liked it so much! And it didn’t have any protein taste. This really impressed me about the other Metragenix bar, too, because they’re both big like the MET-Rx or Supreme Protein I’ve eaten, but they’re somewhere in the range of 100 fewer calories and the same amount of protein. However they do it, it’s amazing.

The chewiness and taste were definitely the winning aspects of this bar. In the end, it really satisfied me, and I would gladly risk the roof of my mouth again to eat this one.

Taste: 9.5--pleasantly sweet, with no protein taste; vanilla-ish.
Texture: 9--I would have preferred if they left off the Cheerios. The interior was gummy enough to occupy me but not so much that I got tired.
Health: 9--these bars are great because they have the high protein content of the jumbo “candy bars” you can get, but without all the extra stuff you don’t need.
Eat Again? Yes, even though my mouth might not like those Cheerios.

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