Monday, January 7, 2013

Review: Metragenix 6:1 Bar Cookies & Cream

I have to admit, I’m obsessed with free stuff.

I ended up with another coupon for a free iSatori Eat Smart bar from GNC, and as usual they had their buy three/get one free protein bar special (I don’t know how long it lasts, but it’s significantly bulking up my stash). Among my four additional bars (the free one doesn’t count) was the Metragenix 6:1 Cookies & Cream bar.

Yup, it’s big. :)

Remember the White Crispy Crunch bar that had warts all over it? Well, this one is a chocolate version with chocolate warts! These are sort of like cocoa rice puff/Cheerio hybrids with an empty chocolate taste. By themselves, they’re really not that good, which is unfortunate because they fall off the bar a lot, and really, what else are you going to do with them besides eat them?

I love the look of that white “cream” layer. It’s soft but not exactly gooey, like Oreo creme. But I do want to point out the mess I made while breaking this bar. It really doesn’t stay together well, so don’t eat it on the go unless you don’t mind the chocolate all over you and your stuff.

OK, first the bad news: the texture and makeup of the bar need some work. Aside from the coating and crisps falling off, it’s really hard to bite. The base doesn’t want to separate, no matter how hard you pull, which results in even more stuff falling off...and you can’t take a bite without the warts cutting into the roof of your mouth. (OK, you can, but it’s a really awkward bite that really isn’t the way the human mouth is intended to work.) On the plus side, the cream layer is softer and noticeably different, making it more palatable. And once you do detach your bite from the bar it’s not that bad to chew; it just keeps you busy. I still wouldn’t recommend it if you’re in a hurry, though.

Now for the good news: the taste. Far from tasting like the 30 grams of protein it delivers, it’s actually really sweet. No odd tastes. It may not taste just like Oreos, but it’s something I could fool myself into calling “dessert.”

In terms of taste it’s a success, but like I said it could use some textural help. One fairly obvious suggestion: put the warts inside the bar, not on the outside. They really do help further the Oreo-esque experience, but they’re too painful to be appreciated as they ought to be. And the keyboard will never look the same. :(

Taste: 8--no protein taste; it’s actually very sweet.
Texture: 5--flaky coating, tough base, and dangerous’s a health hazard!
Health: 8--I like that there’s a lot of protein and not a bunch of extra carbs/calories.
Eat Again? Yeah, but not often.

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