Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Why Don't We All Wear Maternity Clothes?

Not much is new over the past few days. Except, oh yeah, I officially ditched my previous two pairs of pants and shorts because I outgrew them. So then I went clothes shopping. Again.

Enter the maternity section at Target. No, I am not pregnant, but most of the time I feel like I am. And I’m, um, expanding, so it’s nice to have clothes that will expand with me because my pants are my biggest trigger right now. I actually wouldn’t even feel bigger right now if it weren’t for my pants telling me I’m bigger. (My shirts sometimes tell me too but not nearly as often.) But I have to say, I’m  genuinely, really absolutely confused as to why the general population doesn’t wear maternity pants all the time. They are the most comfortable things I could find that were acceptable for work. Actually, they’re the most comfortable pants I own period, and I don’t plan on getting rid of them unless I get too big even for these. And I have to admit that being able to fit (although a bit snugly) into a pair of XS maternity jeans is better for the morale than going up five more jeans sizes in the women’s department.

So I had a bit of fun watching people watch me shop. And it gave me a great excuse for the numerous packages of candy corn Oreos and s’mores candy corn in my cart. I love Target.

But I am a bit tired of growing. Or at least being so disproportionate. To give you some idea: I still have the “skinny legs” (at least from the knee down) of the family, but I’m about or slightly below my sister’s weight, and she’s at least an inch taller than me. My riding tights fit, but they’re stretchy so that’s not a huge surprise. But I can still zip up my half chaps, which are extra-small. So yeah, I have the biggest waist and thighs in my family and the skinniest calves and arms. The world is crazy.

Sometimes it’s so ridiculous I just have to laugh. And I am a bit tired of it all and wondering when does it stop and please can’t my weight redistribute itself already!? Or just distribute elsewhere, since I’m pretty sure I’m still gaining. And sometimes it’s so ridiculous I just have to make cupcakes.

Or, yeah...remember I don’t have cupcake tins? So I guess it’s a cake...made from that Betty Crocker S’mores cupcake mix. Which is exceedingly difficult because I think this pan had too much surface area and so my graham “crust” didn’t actually cover the whole bottom...

...and then filling each “cupcake” with the marshmallow filling is hard when you don’t know what’s a “cupcake” because that requires planning ahead how many you’re going to cut it into and accurately estimating the lines. And evenly distributing the filling. OK, I’m sympathizing with  my body a bit now, but at least *I* didn
’t put it all in the middle!

And then you realize you don’t have enough batter left over in the bowl to cover up all of the filling, and you get the final result above.

The important thing is that is tastes good. It doesn’t matter what it looks like. I suppose I’m the same. The important thing is that I’m healthy and that my body repairs; beyond that I have to let go.
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