Tuesday, October 1, 2013

The Weirdest Thing


The weirdest thing happened to me tonight. Well, weirder than riding through the woods and having a horse jump ship and try to follow me home.

I got out of the shower and looked in the mirror and I had this moment of...holy shit you look skinny!

I somehow managed this while simultaneously having every pair of pants getting tighter and outgrowing my latest (and third) set of shorts. And carrying almost all my weight in my stomach, being a bit bloated, and retaining some water. And feeling like my thighs are enormous and rubbing together hard than ever and my stomach is likewise uncomfortably large. It was weird and contradictory but I could sort of see it.

The other weird thing that happened is...I got full last night! What a foreign feeling, not to plow my way through everything sweet in the kitchen before bed. In fact, I had some popcorn, two Pop-Tarts, and a bowl of cereal. No cookies. And no, I wasn’t out of them. I have two full packages in the cabinet, but I DIDN’T WANT THEM.

I guess that answers that question. Yes, one cookie will be enough, sometime. In fact I’ll do you one better.

I fully expect to have more cookie-devouring days in the near future, but for now this is extremely comforting. Proof that this will end, maybe not for a while, but I will not always feel this urgent need to eat. I will not always crave only desserts and peanut butter. Proof that I am on the right path.

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